Archive for September, 2007

25 Sep 2007

Good Luck Chuck

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Good Luck ChuckWhile “Good Luck Chuck”might seem like a decent flick from the previews, the whole movie is as unappealing as a man having sex with a grapefruit.

Blowjobs, fingering, boobies and grapefruit sex litter this film. Sadly enough, most of those ideas are brought up in the very beginning of the movie when we meet Chuck and his horny, obese friend Stu. At the time, both of them are 11 years old.

During a round of spin the bottle, Chuck’s life takes a turn for the worst. Without knowing the consequence of turning down a sexual encounter with the local Goth voodoo girl, Chuck becomes hexed. This hex causes every woman he sleeps with to find the man of her dreams.

Skipping ahead years later, we are introduced to fit and sexy adult Chuck (Dane Cook, “Employee of the Month”).

To put it simply, Dane Cook’s acting resembles his comedy acts, ignorant and obnoxious. He has the exact same role in this film as his last film and adds nothing more to the already clichéd attractive funny guy.

At one of his ex-girlfriends’ weddings, Chuck and Stu (Dan Fogler, “Balls of Fury”), finally learn the secret of Chuck’s curse. He also happens to meet Cam (Jessica Alba, “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”) who clumsily spills her drink all over his crotch. This is the beginning of many idiotic physical humor jokes to come.

Once Chuck’s secret hits the Web, he becomes the most popular dentist in town. This is also when the film takes a disturbing turn. For about 10 awkward and tiring minutes, Chuck screws more than 30 girls in as many different positions. While gratuitous sex scenes might work in the porn industry, they don’t make a comedy any funnier.

Realizing that screwing women for their benefit is not a healthy way to live, Chuck decides to strike up a relationship with Cam. Alba is growing as an actress, but for now, she does just fine by looking good for the camera.

But while this film has all the nudity a man could ask for, Alba remains clothed throughout.

With many dates and the typical turn for the worst, this film is as predictable as Fat Bastard describing his farts.

In the end, there is a great home video clip of Chuck giving oral sex to a stuffed penguin. With the film already pathetically over-the-top, why not throw in a little bestiality to make the experience complete?

The “Worst 10 Movies of the Year”list would not be complete without this film.

 ’Good Luck Chuck’
Release Date: Sept. 21
Director: Mark Helfrich
Starring: Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, Dan Fogler
Genre: Romantic comedy
Rating: R for sequences of strong sexual content including crude dialogue, nudity, language and some drug use
Grade: D-

10 Sep 2007

3:10 to Yuma

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310 to Yuma“3:10 to Yuma”might play off many western clichés, but in the end proves to be something more than its predecessors.

The story revolves around a struggling farmer and father Dan Evans, played by Christian Bale (“Rescue Dawn”). While Bale is known for playing extreme roles, such as the insane serial killer in “American Psycho,”he takes things down a notch and delivers a very sincere and emotional performance.

On the other hand is Russell Crowe playing Ben Wade, the renegade outlaw with questionable morals. He may quote the Bible constantly, but he has no problem quickly killing his enemies with his “Hand of God”six-shooter pistol. Over a drawn-out series of events, such as wagon robbing, farm burning and killing some time with a hooker, the two opposites meet.

Evans, along with a rich snooty train manager and a wounded officer, must escort Wade to his 3:10 prison train to Yuma. Along the way they encounter the rest of Wade’s posse, including his cocky protégée Charlie Prince, played by Ben Foster (“X-Men 3: The Last Stand”). Prince is a no-good son-of-a-bitch, who constantly steals the show with his insatiable hunger for killing.

They plod toward their destination, but consistently lose men and patience. This is one of the slowest parts of the film, but the best part to see Bale and Crowe shine as actors. It is their philosophical conversations about life and love that demonstrate how deep into the roles these two actors delved.

The standout part of this film comes in its exhilarating final 20 minutes. In one of the most intense shoot-outs in western movie history, Evans shows what having a purpose is all about. With an unexpected revelation from Wade, the plot takes a turn for the best and results in one of the best movie endings of this decade.

Western fans have reason to rejoice with “3:10 to Yuma”because in the end, the film delivers the revival of the genre right on time with some of the best performances of the year.

‘3:10 to Yuma’
Release Date: Sept. 7
Director: James Mangold
Starring: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol, Dallas Roberts, Ben Foster, Vinessa Shaw
Genre: Western
Rating: R for violence and some language
Grade: B+